and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
