ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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