Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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