i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
