she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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