plz talk dirty to me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
