i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize