these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
