I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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