She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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