Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We have started to decorate penises.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
