I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
