some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize