dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She bit a glass in half.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
