I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize