She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
