im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
