David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
