ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
