If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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