i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I want to be your penis for a week.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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