After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
