shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
