This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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