problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
