can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize