Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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