I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
