why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
