She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
