oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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