we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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