I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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