He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
