i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize