OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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