i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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