what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
