went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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