i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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