We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
