Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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