Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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