is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
