You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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