In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
