how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
