The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
