I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
