It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize