I am in a vortex of obligation.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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