During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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