i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just puked most of my soul out..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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