we're blogging at a bar
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
