let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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