how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think I sprained my soul last night
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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