Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
