david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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