Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
