You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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