I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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