Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
