She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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